Dating Test

1. Her day of birth
2. His favorite color
3. His favorite food
4. Her dream country to visit
5. First date day and date
6. Who called first
7. Who texted first
8. Who kissed first
9. What film you watched latest
10. What film you watched first
11. Will you choose hill or beach
12. Will you choose music concert or movie date
13. Will you choose fast food or local restaurant
14. Will you choose Sherlock Holmes or James Bond
15. Will you choose England or America
16. Will you choose Batman or Iron man
17. Will she choose chocolate ice cream or vanilla Ice cream
18. Will he choose jazz or rock
19. Will he choose Range Rover or Ferari
20. Will he choose games or sport
21. Will she choose red rose or white rose
22. Will she choose ice cappucino or hot chocolate
23. Which one is better on woman, heels or sneakers
24. Which one is better on man, tshirt or shirt
25. Mention 2 favorite body parts
26. Mention 1 unforgetable moment
27. Mention 1 amazing trait
28. Future plan: how many kids
29. Future plan: sport car or suv
30. Future plan: country house or modern house
31. Future plan: mention honeymoon location
32. Your partner Shoe size
33. Your partner Height

Red Carpet Makeup Inspiration

Hello there!
The award season has just ended. So here we go, celebrity look that I personally love during the 2015 red carpet.
Once again, this is inspirational makeup, not the recreation, so the looks are not exactly the same with the original looks. 
Let's begin!

 1. The Classic All Time Look
Taylor Swift on Brit Awards & Naomi Watts on Golden GlobesAwards
Key product: bright Red lipstick (NYX Amsterdam) and thick false eyelashes.

2. Nude Nude Nude
Rihanna on Grammy & Reese Whiterspoon on Academy Awards
Key product: Nude Lipstick (Just Peachy Wet n Wild), medium brown eyeshadow, peach brown blush (ELF), natural false eyelashes.

3. Smokey Eyes with Orange lips
Felicity Jones on Golden Globes
Key product: Black eyeshadow, orange lipstick (Carrot Gold Wet N Wild).

4. Sultry Brown
Dakota Johnson on Academy Awards
Key product: Brown burgundy eyeshadow, red-orange lipstick (Purty Perssimon Wet N Wild).

5. Almost Nude
Emily Blunt on Golden Globes
This look compliments any eye colors!
Key Product: Light brown eyeshadow, nude peach matte lipstick (Kinda Sexy MAC), highlighter (ELF).

6. The most talked look of this award season!
Jennifer Lopes on Academy Awards
Some hate, some love. And I love this look! The lipstick works great with the dress color. Jlo the queen!
My lipstick color appears so different in camera. Sorry. :p
Also, Jlo makeup looks usually perfect match for Indonesian skin. Better keep on watch her out, girls!
Key product: white based-pink lipstick, peach orange eyeshadow.

7. Glittery Green
Kim Kardashian on Grammy
One of the different look from Kim, since she always glow in brown or black smokey eyes.
Oops, the green is washed out on my picture below. I am so angry with my camera now.
Key product: glitter, green eyeshadow, nude pink lipstick (Matte Balm 230 Revlon).

8. Vamp Lip
Chrissie Teigen on Academy Awards
My favorite look of all! Dark lip always look good on medium to dark skin tone.Look how she shines!
Key product: dark berry lipstick (Cherry Bomb Wet N Wild), bronzer.

Sorry for some "weird" picture result. Just FYI, I took the pictures with my Samsung S4 only, so as you can see, some color washed out a little bit.
Gotta save money for professional camera to capture my hard work. hehe!
I see you again! Bye guys!
xoxo

Favorite Celebrity Makeup Inspiration

Hi there.
Let's start this March with makeup inspiration from famous celebrity that I created. They are inspiration makeup, so some of them are not exactly the same. And please excuse my pimples. hehe. :)

1. Sandara Park from Etude campaign years ago. Korean Makeup is always interesting.Key product: highlighter, fuchsia lip gloss.

2. Rihanna from MAC Riri Campaign. Queen Riri is my favorite makeup in Hollywood.
Key product: red lipstick and lip pencil, bronzer.

3.Jessica Jung on The Boys (Girls' Generation) music video. Because one wing eyeliner is not enough, Ladies!

Key product: liquid eyeliner.

4. Victoria Secret Fashion Show look, just like my favorite angel: Candice Swanepoel. Glowy and sexy!

Key product: highlighter, highlighter!

5. Kylie Jenner is one of the most wanted makeup look of 2014.
Key product: Mauve lipstick, and lip pencil.

6. Kourtney Kardashian's look is so good on Indonesian skin and feature. Peach-everything!
Key product: Peach lipstick, bronzer.

7. Krystal Jung on Korean drama series The Heir. This is the iconic Korean makeup: puppy eye, straight brow, and glossy ombre lip.
Key product: BB cream which 2 shade lighter than your original skin tone, brown pencil eyeliner to create eye bags.

8. Taylor Swift on Grammy 2014. Silver smokey eye with pink lip. Love it!
Key product: silver eyeshadow.

9.Taylor Swift on Golden Globe 2014. ...I got that red lip classic thing that you like.... :p
Key product: liquid eyeliner and bold red satin lipstick.

10. Jordan Baker on The Great Gatsby. I adore 20's makeup so bad! I wish I was born on that era.
Key product: deep red lipstick.

That's all from me. I'm not a professional makeup artist, so feel free to leave any comment and advice.
Anyway since it is the end of the award season, I am now working on red carpet inspiration on next post.
XO
Cheers, from your friendly neighbor!



PS: celebrity pictures taken from many sources. I don not belong them.

Makeup for Beginner: WHAT TO BUY?

Aloha!
It's been too long, I miss writing something here so much.

When I'm starting to love makeup, I kinda confused about what to do first, what to buy, and what are the useful tools/things in makeup. Plus, I heard that question a lot when doing makeup to friends.
I know we all here have moisturizer, mascara, eyeliner, pressed powder/two way cake, and lipstick in our purse, right? Good! That's the base of every girl must-have. So what else I should buy?
Here we go!

BASE

1. FACE PRIMER & EYE PRIMER
Primer is the barrier between your foundation and your skin. It also makes foundation last longer and shine free. So this is so important. The best face primer brands are Smashbox and The Balm Porefessional. Yes they are pricey. But, the brands sell the products in travel size! I always looove travel and sample size! Beauty in a good deal huh!

*Best Drugstore face primer: Maybelline baby skin primer, Revlon Photoready Primer, NYX shine killer primer.
Eye Primer is another must-have.
For oily monolid eyes like me, this is holy grail product. Eye primer will hold the eye shadow/eye liner longer. Primer juga bisa membuat warna eyeshadow keluar lebih terang. The best is still Urban Decay primer potion. 

(Harga: travel size sekitar Rp180.000-an, dijual di Sephora, atau beli online di website favorite saya: twlcosmetics.com)
*Best Drugstore eye primer: NYX eyeshadow base in jar, ELF mineral eyeshadow primer.

Urban Decay eye Primer Potion, The POREfessional face primer.

Smashbox face primer, Maybelline baby skin face primer, Revlon Photoready face Primer, NYX shine killer , NYX Pore Filler face primer, ELF mineral eyeshadow primer.

 2. CONCEALER
Concealer covers the imperfections (birthmark, Vitiligo, eyebags, dark circle, acne scar)
If you have dark circle under eyes, go find a concealer 2 shade lighter than your skin tone. Bisa langsung diaplikasikan dengan jari manis. Suhu tubuh kita yang hangat membuat cream nya melts perfectly and blends well with our skin. 

My favorite is Coastal Scents Camo Quad concealer (Rp180.000an). It has 4 shades, jadi serbaguna untuk contouring hidung dan pipi juga.

*Best Drugstore Concealer: NYX concealer in jar, and the famous one: Maybelline age rewind. 

Maybelline age rewind, NYX concealer in jar, Revlon photoready concealer, Coastal Scents Camo Quad concealer.

3. FOUNDATION / BB Cream

Foundation functions as tone balancing for your face, ears, and neck, or even shoulder & hands. Makanya buat temen-temen yang masih suka beli foundation 3 shade lebih terang, please sadarlah. Hehe. Makeup fungsinya bukan sebagai topeng, tapi pemerata warna kulit.
My favorite still Revlon Colorstay. Affordable with good quality. It also buildable for high coverage acne scars. Pernah pake buat nonton konser, keringetan dari jam 11 pagi ampe jam 1 dini hari, dan foundation ini setia gak bergeser atau luntur. Keren! MAC studio fix & Makeup Forever HD masih kalah. (Harga: Rp150.000-an di counter Revlon)

Tip for finding the right shade on foundation: do not try that on your hand. Face and hand skins are different. So try the foundation on your jawline. Blend, if it dissapear nicely, then that's your shade!
BB Cream is another options for light everyday use. However I can not find any Korean BB Cream (which is said as the pioneer of BB Cream) in my shade. Korean BB Creams are way too fair for Indonesian skin.
Foundation/BB Cream are the number one thing that we should really considered when buying. Cari tau kandungannya, baca reviewnya, cari warna yang tepat, kemudian coba di kulit kalian dalam 3 minggu. Kalo gak jerawatan, dan pas, then it's a lifetime best friend!
Ohya, sebaiknya pilih foundation dengan SPF serendah mungkin. SPF membuat wajah lebih berminyak dan menimbulkan bercak putih di hasil fotografi. Gunakan SPF lotion terpisah sebelum foundation.
*Another best choice: MAC Studio Fix, Makeup Forever HD, The Body Shop BB Cream, Garnier BB Cream.

Revlon Colorstay

TOOLS

 1. BRUSHES

There are plenty variety of makeup brushes out there.

These are the brushes you will need for everyday simple look.You can find it on Centro/Matahari.

Tip: feel the brush hair. A good quality of brush should be smooth and strong.
Well, we all here have brow brush right? That's a must-have.
For beginner/self-makeup artist you only need these basic tools:

1. Foundation Brush or Sponge (Brush is easier for beginner to apply liquid foundation. Brush works the best for medium to high coverage. Best option for acne scars. One good brush can last YEARS, while Sponge harvest bacteria after the first use. However sponge gives a natural/airbrush skin. Jadi tentukan sendiri apa yang dibutuhkan untuk kulit dan keperluan sehari-hari kamu.)
2. Blush brush (for blush, pressed powder, and highlighter)
3. Flat Eyeshadow brush (for eyeshadow on eyelids)
4. Blending Eye brush (for blending eyeshadow into soft and nice colors)
5. Eyeliner brush (for eyeliner gel and also multi-function as to draw brows)
6. Angle Contour Brush (for nose and cheekbones contouring)

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

I spent money the most on foundation brush. For me owning a high value and quality foundation brush is so important. My one and only favorite is Real-Techniques in Expert Face Brush (Harga Rp.170.000-an di twlcosmetics.com). Another pricey brand is from Sigma.

*The best one is form Ecotools (4 brushes for Rp100.000-an di instagram @preorderbymimo). I recommend the set brushes, because it cheaper and complete. There are good options to at Centro/Sogo Department store, or drugstore such as Guardian. 

LEFT: Foundation Brushes & Sponges. RIGHT: Ecotools brush set.

Makeup brush wajib dibersihkan setiap seminggu sekali dengan baby shampo yang lembut atau cairan air hangat+cuka untuk menghilangkan bakteri, dibilas. Kemudian dikeringkan dengan meletakan pegangan handle brush lebih tinggi dari bulu kuas, agar tidak ada air yang tersisa. Sementara Sponge memerlukan sponge shampoo tersendiri.

 2. EYE SHADOW
The fun part! Just like the childhood time when coloring book, now our crayon is eyeshadow. No need to buy sophisticated eye shadow palette, yet. For our Indonesian skin, the basic eyeshadows are earth tone (any shades of brown, bronze, gold, champagne, black, and shimmering white). Those are enough for everyday or glam day look.

*Mine is from NYX look kit Nude on Nude. Perfect!  (Harga: 185.000-an di twlcosmetics.com)

NYX Nude on nude Natural Look Kit

The recommended beginner lesson on eyeshadow application in Youtube are these lovely channels: TheMakeupChair (she gave amazing clear steps for newbie), easyNeon, Michelle Phan.
For monolid Asian eyes: From Head to Toe, jungsaemmool, So Young's Beauty Room.
Go practice with them and see yourself in 5 months: an artist in the making!

3. LIPS

The best everyday lip shade for tanned Indonesian skin is peachy pink. Also, this kind of lipstick can be used as....BLUSH! Dab a little bit lipstick onto the cheeks with ring fingers (Ring finger is the weakest finger, so make sure to use them in EVERY application on makeup industry-lol. Jangan merangsang keriput dengan menekan kulit terlalu keras dengan jari lain). Then you will achieve natural blushing and glowy face.

Just make sure to find a shine/creamy finish lisptick so it can glow also on your cheeks. Matte lipstick or lip gloss won't work.
*My Favorite: Maybelline Iced caramel, Revlon colorbust peach & Wet n wild Carrot Gold.

THE SECRET

A MUST HAVE

Dark brown matte eyeshadow is the secret. What for?
1. Eyeshadow (from natural to dramatic smokey eye)
2. Natural looking brow
3. Contouring (shading hidung/pipi)
4. Eyeliner (soft ala Korean eye makeup)

I always love multi-function! Make sure it is matte (means no shimmer/pearl at all).
*I got mine from Nyx. (Harga Rp90.000 di counter Nyx).

NYX single eyeshadow in Dark Brown.

That's all from me. I see you again on next post.
Love,
From your friendly neighbor.

PS: Pictures taken from my own personal pictures and some from websites. I do not own them. Thank you.

20 Random Things About Me

Too long of blog hiatus, now I'm back!

So happy to announce to you that I'm finally back to university again to pursue my master.
Even tho for my whole life I have always wanted to study master overseas, but I'm so excited now in Jogja.
I have been try to compete in scholarship  last 2 years, but the destiny says another way. It's okay because in the end now, I succesfully accepted in UGM (again) majoring American Studies. Sound cool huh?! Well...I hope.

I told you Jogja I will come back, I told you!!

In my third weeks at University, and it has been CRAZY enough. Group presentation, reaction paper, reading assignment EVERYDAY! The stake is higher than my undergraduate days.

However, today I'm on my spare time, and doing this "random things" just pop up on my mind. Even though I'm not a celebrity blogger and people don't really care about me, but this is interesting enough to do right?

1. I hate green tea (if its mixed with sugar or milk). Eeewww! So I only drink pure green tea.
2. I'm a big fan of Taylor Swift since her first album! I almost cried when I arrived at the stadium on her Red Tour.
3. I have nonsense-limitless-huge appetite. Aka always hungry. But after eat a lot, my stomach hurts as hell.
4. Believe it or not, doctor once said that my stomach is way too small, and he suggested that I should have not eat after 7pm for the rest of my life.......Which I ignored.
5. I hate when people making weird sounds (sigh out loud, whistle, so on).
6. I'm introvert. I don't talk to strangers. I put headphone on plane or waiting room and chin down at elevator.
7. I love makeup so much!
8. I have always been the tallest girl on class. In fact, I am only 167cm. Asian luck!
9. I'm a light sleeper. I can't sleep on plane or train. Sucks!
10. I dislike sushi. I don't find it yummy. But recently I'm starting to like sashimi.
11. I have American Dream since I was a little. My main destination: Gotham and Smallville. Lol!
12. I love 20's European fashion.
13. I have a dream to have wings and fly. But in fact, height scares me.
14. I love adrenaline rush activities. Yes for roller coaster!
15. My biggest pride is me playing Saron on Gamelan Karawitan. To be able to play and mastering your own heritage is amazing! Huge honor!
16. I was a big fan of soccer in junior high. My fave team was Manchester United since I love David Beckham so much. I even had scrapbooks of Beckham's picture and profile! But as I grew older, I lost interest on soccer.
17. My fave time of the day is when its raining.
18. I have a little interest on beach vacation, since I was born near coast. So, I visited Bali for the first time in 2011. When I won a grand prize at employee gathering at office. My hand indeed has a little bit of magic when it comes to lottery.
19. My high school memory I love the most is when friends and I visited a friend's house and we took a loooong walk, and we found a beautiful desert beach!
20. I want to pet a cat so bad!

That's it from me.
Bye for now, from your friendly neighboorhood friend!
Xoxo

Vitiligo World Awareness Day

---English---
On 1993, the King of pop, Michael Jackson, revealed his skin disorder to the world on Oprah. Michael Jackson was born with Vitiligo. This confession is a turning point.
Many people once believe that Vitiligo is a curse disease that connected with devil, that has to be alienated because its contagious and deadly.
Now let me get things straight.
Vitiligo is a skin condition where the immune system destroys the melanocytes (skin pigment), causing white albino patches on skin.
It is NOT contagious, no leads to death.
However, the Vitiligans may suffer from social and self esteem problem.
I lived with Vitiligo since 13 years old. Long story..... You may check it out on my previous post.
After years of hiatus, my Vitiligo now takes control again. It is spreading so fast in my 23-24 years old.
I struggled for this for my whole life. It is so hard to accept this as the part of me. But after all, I gotta live with it. There is nothing I can do about it. Its incurable tho.
For now on, I rely on make up. There is no day where I go out without concealer and foundation on. (Wait for my next post about Concealing Vitiligo Spot)
I still have no brave to face the world with bare face. I still feel beasty, and different, and weird, and disgusted, and......oh!
So since today 25 June is Vitiligo World Awareness Day, I am sending the message to you peps, that we are just different. There is no reason you should alienated and avoid us.
Over 100 million of us in Earth suffer as a result of social stigma and severe psychological burden that result. Some of us are the victim of ostracism and discrimination.
Awareness and empathy lead humanity to the best form of themselves. Find out more before you judge. We are trying so hard to blend and look normal everyday only to avoid harsh comment and rude stare.
Michael Jackson lived with judgemental comments around him causing him suffered from terrible insomnia. Take note that MJ did not died because of Vitiligo.
The legacy continues.
I quote Magneto on X-Men Days of Future Past scene:
Because we are different. Because you are afraid of our gift. To my brother and sister out there, no more hiding, no more suffering. You have lived in the shadow and shame and fear for too long. Come out. Fight together.
Stay Strong Vitiligans!
---Bahasa Indonesia---
Pada tahun 1993, Michael Jackson mengakui penyakit kulitnya, Vitiligo pada dunia melalui interview bersama Oprah Winfrey. Pengakuan ini menorehkan sejarah karena berhasil membuka mata dunia terhadap Vitiligo.
Banyak orang yang tidak paham tentang Vitiligo, dan tidak mau mencari tahu, tapi malah membuat pengertian sendiri terhadap penyakit ini. Mereka menyamaratakan penyakit kulit, bahwa Vitiligo bisa menular karena disebabkan oleh jamur kulit, dan bisa menyebabkan cacat dan kematian seperti Panu, Kusta atau Lepra. Bahkan di negara saya tinggal, penyakit ini dianggap sebagai kutukan yang memalukan.
Kalimat-kalimat tersebut menancap dengan baik di otak saya, sejak Vitiligo saya muncul di umur 13 tahun. Cap buruk masyarakat membuat saya tumbuh menjadi gadis remaja introvert, penyendiri, dan gampang minder.
Begitupun dengan MJ yang hidup dengan banyak cap buruk, berakibat insomnia kronis hingga akhirnya sang raja Pop meninggal pada 25 Juni.
Sekarang jejak MJ akan kami lanjutkan lewat Hari Peduli Vitiligo Dunia, 25 Juni.
Vitiligo adalah penyakit kesalahan imun dan genetik. Sistem imun kami rusak dan menganggap bahwa pigmen adalah zat jahat yang harus dihancurkan. Maka itu sebagian pigmen kami hilang menjadi albino. Vitiligo tidak menular, dan tidak menyebabkan kematian. Saya ulangi, tidak menular sama sekali dengan interaksi apapun.
Penyakit ini juga tidak menyebabkan kematian, bahkan kami sama sekali tidak pernah merasa sakit atau gatal.
Selain MJ ada juga Chantelle Winnie Harlow yang berhasil jadi supermodel dengan Vitiligo nya. Bahkan masuk sebagai finalis America Next Top Model cycle 21. Lihat kan? Kondisi kulit kami yang sebagian orang anggap kekurangan sebenarnya adalah hasil karya seni tangan Tuhan.
Vitiligo pada saya sudah saya jelaskan di post terdahulu. Saya senang sekali karena tulisan tersebut mencapai hit readers. Saya juga senang karena tulisan tersebut dibaca lewat orang-orang yang googling dengan keyword "does vitiligo contagious?"
Betul kan, kalau mau tahu ya harus cari tahu. Pahami dengan benar. Bukan malah kasih komentar dan cap ini itu.
Karena pemahaman yang baik mengantarkan pada empati dan menjauhkan diskriminasi.
Peace!

Dry Lips No More!

Hi,
Lip balm is my ultimate thing-to-bring. I literally can't live without it. Went through an Accutane for 6 months made my lips terrible. Felt like Accutane absorb all oil in my body. But I worry no more because I have these. So let's check it out, my lip balm top collection.

1. Vaseline petroleum jelly
This is the greatest! Stay really good, soft, even if you put it on above your lipstick.
But make sure your finger is clean when you apply.
This jelly good for other dry area such as nail cuticle and elbow. Also you can put it some on your lashes using Q-tips. Some believe that it will make lashes grow stronger and longer.
Mine is an Arabic packaging version, I prefer the Japanese one.

2. EOS Lip Balm in Strawberry Sorbet
Pretty packaging, taste and smell like a yummy dessert, and organic ingredients. Perfecto! I ordered this online after saw it on Miley Cyrus video, and it arrived after 4 weeks. Worth the wait! I love the smell, I love the packaging, no finger, no q-tips, just rolled it onto lips. Hygiene and clean!
Well, Vaseline petroleum jelly is better in keeping lip soft and moisture. But lately I'm using this one more often because it easier to bring and apply everywhere. Currently waiting for my second order, in flavor Summer Fruit. (Oh, I can't help my addiction. I still have 5 or 6 lip balms, but I still ordering another. Lol!)

3. Body Shop Lip Butter in Mango
I bought this about 3 years ago. The expired date is in.....oh no, I can't even see the expired date. The letters are already smear!
It is quite a good moisturizer, but too oily. I prefer to use this in night before sleep.The taste of mango is not too strong, I barely couldn't smell or taste it.
I had the strawberry one (Born Lippy Strawberry Lip Balm) when I was in High School. The strawberry one tastes good, but this lip butter edition is moisture better.

4. Oriflame Tender Care
It is a dupe of Vaseline petroleum jelly I think. It has the same function and ingredient. However, the jelly texture is a little bit... how do I explain this, hmm.... blob. So, for me, Vaseline's still better.

5. Lip Ice Sheer Color, and
6. Nivea Lovely Lips
From 1 to 10, I give these two 4 point as moisturizer, and 7 point for lip color. These make a good natural pink on your lips. Not my favorite, I gotta say.

From all the lip balm out there, raw honey is the greatest of all. It indeed takes time and rempong, but application everyday before sleep resulting you a kissable and healthy lips.
And....that's it from me. See you on the next review!
Bye!

Vitiligo and Me (#1) - English

This post took a long time to write and publish. It takes everything to brought myself here.
But I want to all the girl out there who has the same story as me, know that they are not alone.
Here is my story, in English post.

At the age of 19, I knew that I have Vitiligo since 13yo.
A skin disorder that happen when your immune system mistakenly attacks some part of your own body. In Vitiligo, the immune system destroys the melanocytes (pigment color in skin), causing white albino parts in skin.
The cause is not yet to be found as well as the cure. And because it is connected with genetic and auto immune system, means this disease is incurable.
The sky felt like crumble into my head. The words "incureable" and "can grow fast" were like a bullet into my head.
I struggled years to get the cure. But nothing changed until now.

Now, I'm working on my feelings, on my self esteem.
However, I do have faith, that someday I will woke up in morning, seeing mirror, and everything is okay and normal.
I never give up on believing miracle. The fog should lift very soon and things will begin to fall into place and to make sense. I learned that I am perfectly healthy. I still can do so many things in life, walk, work, eat, laugh, sport, shopping, sooo many things. And the most important thing is that I still can be friends with other. I will not pass this disease to other people, because Vitiligo does not contagius.
I repeat Vitiligo does not contagious or transmitted.
So I don't really have big problem actually.
It's just I'm different with others.

Well I lied. It is a big problem.
I bet we girls have thousand reason to be worried. Although Vitiligo is usually not harmful medically, its emotional and psychological effects can be devastating. We girls who are often particularly concerned about their appearance, can be devastated by widespread Vitiligo.
It is heart breaking to know that this will change me someday. But I promise that I will be the same person inside. I will not let this shit bitch controlled and destroyed my life. Oops, sorry, inappropriate words! :)
Well yes I hate Vitiligo so much!
However now I realized that this is the part of me. I couldn't blame Cosmos. Vitiligo makes my connection with God and family getting closer.
I once write down the positive things and blessings I got from this disease, and I lost numbers. There are sooo many.
See, there are always good thing behind every misery, depends on our perspective.

This post goal is to make people aware of Vitiligo.
It is important that people become aware of this disorder. This can play a role in empowering people with Vitiligo like me to take more control over their personal lives and their health and well-being.
Vitiligo disorders are hurt enough, our heart is breaking everyday by only seeing a mirror. Our nights are hard worrying about how others will react tomorrow, what part of my skin will affected tomorrow. It's gonna be harder if you people alienate us.

We are obviously not normal, but inside, we are.

This post also published in Bahasa Indonesia, below. :)

Vitiligo dan Saya (#1)

Butuh waktu yang sangat lama untuk saya menulis tulisan ini. Butuh beribu kekuatan didalam diri yang saya kerahkan hingga akhirnya hari ini saya mempublikasikannya.
Tulisan ini bahkan sudah selesai ditulis 8 bulan yang lalu dengan Bahasa Inggris. 

Tujuan saya disini adalah untuk berbagi rasa dan pengertian. Untuk semua yang memiliki cerita yang sama dengan cerita saya, inilah cerita saya.

Pada umur 13 tahun, saya menemukan bintik putih di kulit saya. Saya melaporkannya kepada Ibu. Ibu saat itu menganggap bahwa ini adalah penyakit kulit jamur biasa, kemudian Beliau mengingatkan saya untuk mandi lebih bersih dan lama.
Namun ketika bintiknya bertambah terang dan mulai menjalar ke daerah lain, saya dan Ibu mulai cemas. Kami mengunjungi dokter kulit, namun tidak mendapatkan penjelasan apapun. Hanya resep dan obat.
Kelas 3 SMP, kami pergi ke kota yang lebih besar untuk menemui dokter kulit terkenal disana. Saya kemudian menjalani laser treatment pertama.
Sebulan kemudian, bercaknya hilang. Saya menjalani masa SMA dengan penuh kebahagiaan.
Tapi kemudian di umur 19 tahun, saya kembali menemukan bercak putih ini. Saya yang saat itu adalah remaja perempuan yang sudah memperhatikan penampilan, mulai stress.
Saya kemudian melakukan browsing dan riset di internet tentang penyakit saya. Dan jreeengg.... Vitiligo!
Kata pertama yang saya baca dan dengar di hidup saya. Saya langsung benci dengan kata ini.
Inilah yang telah menggerogoti kulit saya.

Vitiligo adalah kondisi kronis kulit yang kehilangan pigmen warna (Melanocyte) di beberapa bagian tubuh. Melanocyte hilang akibat kesalahan sistem imun tubuh yang menganggap bahwa melanocytes adalah sel jahat yang harus diberantas. Maka bagian kulit yang sakit akan berubah menjadi albino. Keadaan ini tidak akan membuat saya kesakitan atau infeksi. Karena Vitiligo adalah kelainan genetik, maka Vitiligo bukan merupakan penyakit menular. Ya, saya ulangi, Vitiligo tidak akan menular!
Hanya saja kulit saya akan sangat sensitif dan mudah terbakar matahari. Saya juga harus mengontrol perasaan dan pikiran saya, jauh dari stress. Karena stress adalah pemicu terbesar yang membuat kerja sistem imun saya berantakan.

Sampai disini saya masih baik-baik saja. Kemudian saya melanjutkan riset.

Vitiligo bisa menyebar meluas seiring waktu. Hingga kini masih belum diketahui penyebab dan pengobatannya. Karena Vitiligo adalah penyakit yang berhubungan dengan sistem imun dan genetik, maka Vitiligo tidak bisa disembuhkan.

Disinilah titik poin terendah saya. Seluruh langit rasanya runtuh diatas kepala saya. Sudah tidak ada lagi keceriaan untuk menatap masa depan, keliling dunia, berkarier, memiliki suami dan keluarga. Semuanya seperti terhenti.
Keadaan mental dan hati saya semakin memburuk. Saya kirimkan seluruh hasil riset saya melalui pos ke rumah Ayah dan Ibu.
Kemudian Ibu menelpon saya. Dengan suara bergetar menahan tangis Ibu hanya bilang, "Semua akan baik-baik saja. Bahkan sehelai daun yang jatuh pun sudah ada yang mengatur."
Saya pun mencoba kuat. Toh saya masih bisa bekerja, makan, jalan-jalan, sekolah, bergaul, dan menulis dengan baik dan sehat. Ini hanya masalah estetika. Berarti bukan masalah besar dong, Sha.

Hmm.... Saya bohong.
Tidak semudah itu. Butuh waktu bertahun-tahun untuk menerima keadaan saya sendiri, menerima perubahan di depan cermin. Gimana nanti kalau penyebarannya semakin agresif? Gimana nanti kalo saya sudah tidak bisa menutupinya? Apa nanti yang harus saya jelaskan ke orang terdekat saya?
Bahkan saya hampir saja meragukan kekuatan dan perhatian Tuhan untuk saya. Saya terus kesal dan bertanya, "kenapa harus saya.", "apa salah saya?", "apa ini kutukan?".

Tapi masalah ternyata memang membuat manusia jadi lebih dekat dengan Tuhan. Garis cinta dan benci saya terhadap Vitiligo sangat tipis.
Saya bahkan kehilangan angka saat menghitung hikmah untuk hidup saya yang Tuhan kirimkan lewat penyakit ini.
Masalah ini juga mendekatkan dan memperkuat seluruh keluarga saya.
Semua bersatu untuk memberikan semangat. Semua membantu mencarikan penyembuhan.
Saya sudah hampir menjalani semua pengobatan, obat-obatan dari yang kimia hingga obat daun ini itu, akupuntur, laser. 
Tapi sepertinya jalan saya masih panjang seiring menyebarnya penyakit ini yang juga semakin luas.

Namun bukankah tidak ada cobaan tanpa solusi dan hikmah, bukankah Dia selalu menjanjikan tidak ada cobaan yang melampaui batas kemampuan umat-Nya. Artinya Tuhan menganggap kekuatan bahu saya lebih besar dari apa yang saya tahu.

Sekarang saya sudah menganggap Vitiligo sebagai bagian hidup saya, bukan sebuah penyakit. Semua rasa risih dan benci terhadap penyakit ini sudah saya buang jauh-jauh. Sekarang saya menggunakan makeup untuk menutup kekurangan saya, untuk berbaur menjadi normal. Untuk menghindari tatapan dan pertanyaan aneh orang-orang.Yang harus dipastikan adalah orang-orang dekat disekitar saya juga harus menerima dan memahami saya apa adanya, dengan Vitiligo. Vitiligo adalah filter otomatis dalam hidup saya, untuk menyaring mana orang-orang yang memberikan aura negatif dan mana orang-orang yang tulus.

Untuk semua orang yang bertanya-tanya tentang keanehan di kulit saya, ini adalah jawabannya. 
Semoga post di blog ini bisa menjelaskan semuanya.

Cheers. :)

MAKE IT UP !

So these days I am soooo into make up.
Post accutane treatment left some acne marks on my face, that is why I have to cover it! Oh by the way, I forgot to tell you that my Accutane journey has done. What a year! The result is quite amazing. No more pimples! Happiness pours!
From learning how to cover my acne marks, now I go to a higher level, trying a counturing, highlighting, and eye painting. Make up indeed does magic. I love how it makes you turn out to be a flawlessly pretty.
With some tutorial videos from Youtube, and a raw talent of beginner, these are the looks I created from last two weeks. Please note that this isn't perfect, I'm on learning process, and my make up tools weren't complete yet. Here they are!

Info:

Foundation: Revlon Colorstay in natural Beige (recommended for oily skin),

          Revlon Photoready eye primer & bronzer, PAC cream foundation (to cover blemish).

Powder: MAC translucent powder (all time favorite!!).

Eye Shadow & Blush: ELF make up artist pallette in 50 pieces.

Lips: EOS lipbalm, Maybelline (peach & bright red), NYX (pink), & Sariayu (nude).

Mascara: Maybelline the falsies, Maybelline Hyper curl Cat Eyes.

Eyeliner: Mizzu, Bobbi Brown.

Brow: Sariayu dark brown (stays really long).

Girl Crush #1

I have a hard dream to travel through time machine back to 1920's. I adore the fashion.
Hair piece, lace gown, floral dress, pretty heels, and curly hair with an up do.
Feels like all the girls acted like real woman, gracefully walked through the vintage cafe, and ride a classic fancy car with man who's wearing oxford shoes.
And these days, Lana Del Rey brings 20's atmosphere back. Her music, her style and everything... ohhh sooo classic!
Never Let Me Go, Young and Beautiful, Born to Die, listening to them makes me wanna jump into an old Mustang, with a large hat and floral dress.

So here she is, Lana Del rey.